shit arse blogger. again.

Maybe that should say 'shitarse-d blogger' because here I am on a Friday night with 4 glasses of wine & 3 freddo frogs under my belt and finally blogging again.

It's funny this blogging thing - I read blogs all the time, about all sorts of shit (ALL sorts!) but until I'm half chopped after a long week, do I think that I actually have some of my own shit to write about that anyone would want to read.

Which probably says more about me, than this blogging thing.

Anyway, lots to talk about but nothing to talk about.

Kids - cute! But also really annoying.
Husband - annoying. But at times almost cute.
Work - just annoying.
Other stuff - what other stuff?

Will report back tomorrow when sober. Will need to be early.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPad]

Happy Mother's Day!

11 Mother's Day later & I'm finally middle-aged enough for slippers AND pyjamas!

But still too selfish to share my lindt balls with them.

Hope you all got just as spoilt as me!

testing. times & this.

So this is a test of blogging via my phone.

It's also a test of my strength because I'm blogging in a hospital bed after having had surgery today - long, complicated story: was pregnant, now not, possibility of bigger and scarier problems.

I've generally been a believer in "good things happen to good people" but fuck me, these past few years have tested that theory well and truly.

But I refuse to believe that although I might not be funny these days, that I'm not good.

Sure I swear (including saying cunt) and I even swear at old ladies who steal my car park (including saying cunt) and I might secretly wish harm on someone who used to work for me and I might even forget to get anything in the post for Mothers Day, but I'm still good.

Fucking good even.

Mobile Blogging from here.

[geo_mashup_save_location lat="-36.7701" lng="174.7311"]

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Not funny.

Damn! I had a big post in my drafts folder updating you on the past 4 or 5 months but it's gone.
Which is a real shame because it was the funniest thing I've ever written. you'll
You'll just have to believe me though because right now I can't find any humour in anything.

Except for the beard my husband has grown over the long weekend.
Hilarious.

It's been a while (again) and I want to come back, I really do, but I never seem to have anything to write about myself or my kids or my even my arse, that I think you'd find even remotely interesting. And certainly not funny.

Life is incredibly stressful & busy with running the business, ear infections, throat infections, a seriously overgrown garden, dieting, not quite teenage hormones, a husband who never gets enough sex, a house that's too small for us and a cat who thinks he's a dog.

So busy but boring blog reading.

Like today, a rainy Wednesday of the school holidays and I'm at home with the resident 11 year old and his mate. Actually I've locked myself in my bedroom and left them alone downstairs. I can hear bullets being fired but I am guessing they're on screen ones and not real life.

I probably should check, shouldn't I?

But what is there to write about?
The jeans shopping we just did - "mum, no offense but you don't know what's cool". (Oh, how could I possibly be offended?)
The $30 the local bakery fleeced me for the lunch for the two of them? ($30! I know!)
How "gay" that Taio Cruz song is? (Umm, who? Does Tom Cruise go by a Spanish name now?)

See, nothing.

8 months between waxes

Holy shit, 7 months since I last posted?
Crikey.

So many things have changed, so many things have stayed the same...like that sore arse of mine - still sore.

This little chap has grown:

Sadly my patience for morons hasn't grown (well, spose it's only sad if you're one of those morons...but if you are then you're probably too moronic to realise).

Still fat.

Still batshit crazy.

And brazillian's, even after 8 months (yes, 8 months, I KNOW!), still hurt like fuck.

Busy doing what?

Time passes and my blog continues to get neglected. I think I've got a reasonable excuse though as this is what has been keeping me busy lately.



After what seemed like the longest pregnancy in the entire world, Cooper was born on 20th April by c-section. Weighing a very healthy 8lb 15oz, he's doing all the right things and is just delightful (especially when he's asleep like in the photo).

Things are going pretty well & I feel more in control than I did when I had Riley, and to be honest, probably more in control than I thought I would, but some days (like today when road rage got the better of me at the beach car park & I yelled very bad words to the 80 year old BITCH who stole my park) things feel diabolical.

I'm not sure what makes it worse - the broken sleep, the sore nipples, the constant cluster feeding in the evening or the endless piles of fucking washing.

Oops, it's now 5 weeks later and I still haven't finished this post. There's still piles of washing, there's still bitches stealing parks and Cooper is still delightful.

Getting around to it.

Updating my blog isn't the only thing I haven't got around to doing lately.

I've been so busy lately with renovating, the business, taking Riley to 5 million cricket practices a week, watching Riley's cricket and being pregnant, that a few things have been let go.

So today (well actually yesterday because it's now 3.30am and I can't sleep for the 564th night in a row - ANOTHER fucking treat that comes with being pregnant!) I wanted to put a stop to a couple of these neglected things.

So I got my fanny waxed for the first time since December.

Meh, I know that's disgraceful and I am normally a four weekly girl but I kinda figure that if I can't see it, then surely I don't have to maintain it, right?

Because, let's be honest, it could be on fire and I wouldn't know right now.

Anyway, it's done and I've also updated my blog.

Now I suppose I should go back upstairs, wake my husband up and do something else I haven't got around to for ages.

At least he'd be able to find his way now.