My (rather large) stomach.

Seriously, why do people think they can comment on the size of your stomach when you are pregnant?

I saw possibly the fattest woman in the world at the supermarket yesterday but I didn’t consider, not even for a moment, to say ‘oh my god, look at your stomach!’

It was tempting though, especially because she had way too many packets of Tim Tams in her trolley, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.

Until I got home and ate my own packet of Tim Tams that is.

But apparently because I am pregnant it’s totally fine to comment on my stomach.

And my boobs.

Usually I just shrug, blush and feel like crying but hold it together (because no one likes a crying pregnant woman), or if it’s a close friend tell them to fuck off. But from now on I am going to try a new approach.

The following are some of the actual comments I have received. There have been more but these are some of the best. And below them are going to be my new responses.

Wow, you’re big aren’t you?

Wow, you’re a bitch aren’t you?’

Oh my god, look at your belly! It’s SO big!

Oh my god, look at your arse, it’s SO fucking huge!

Wow, you’re showing rather a lot aren’t you?

Wow, you’re showing how stupid you are, aren’t you?’

Far out mate, your boobs have got pretty big haven’t they?

Far out mate, your boobs have got droopy haven’t they?

Gee, you’ve got a 10 pounder in there!

Gee, you’ve clearly got no brain in there!

But the real killer is, they’re right. I am huge, my boobs are massive and it is likely to be a 10lb baby. With a HUGE head.

Fuckers.